{"title":"Completely Reprehensible Admin Patches","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"discord-admin-crap-patch","title":"Discord Admin Completely Reprehensible Admin Patch [S01]","description":"\u003cp\u003eLet everyone know just how important you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e2.5\" x 6\"\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWoven polyester with woven lettering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHook and loop backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCompletely Reprehensible\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSeason one release\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eDisclaimer: This patch is satire. Please do not take any of these seriously.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"CSTM","offers":[{"title":"Ranger Green","offer_id":32190375329834,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-DISCORD-ADMIN-G","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black","offer_id":32190375362602,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-DISCORD-ADMIN-B","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2602\/7094\/products\/Chest_Patch_DISCORD_ADMIN_Ranger_Corrected.jpg?v=1617228562"},{"product_id":"concerned-citizen-crap-patch","title":"Concerned Citizen Completely Reprehensible Admin Patch [S01]","description":"\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eFor those who take an active role in their community.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eSpecs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e2.5\" x 6\"\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eWoven polyester with woven lettering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eHook and loop backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eCompletely Reprehensible\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eSeason one release\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eDisclaimer: This patch is satire. Please do not take any of these seriously.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KommandoStore","offers":[{"title":"Ranger Green","offer_id":32190376771626,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-CONCERNED-CITIZEN-G","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black","offer_id":32190376804394,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-CONCERNED-CITIZEN-B","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2602\/7094\/products\/Chest_Patch_CONCERNED_CITIZEN_Ranger_Corrected.jpg?v=1617228572"},{"product_id":"room-service-crap-patch","title":"Room Service Completely Reprehensible Admin Patch [S01]","description":"\u003cp\u003ePerfect for delivering comped sushi and two cans of Coke.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e2.5\" x 6\"\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWoven polyester with woven lettering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHook and loop backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCompletely Reprehensible\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSeason one release\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eDisclaimer: This patch is satire. Please do not take any of these seriously.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"CSTM","offers":[{"title":"Ranger Green","offer_id":32190388731946,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-ROOM-SERVICE-G","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black","offer_id":32190388764714,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-ROOM-SERVICE-B","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2602\/7094\/products\/Chest_Patch_ROOM_SERVICE_Ranger_Corrected.jpg?v=1617228581"},{"product_id":"peaceful-protestor-crap-patch","title":"Peaceful Protester Completely Reprehensible Admin Patch [S01]","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis one goes out to all those protesting peacefully, mostly...\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2022 update: We spelled it the 'right' way this time. You happy? \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e2.5\" x 6\"\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWoven polyester with woven lettering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHook and loop backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCompletely Reprehensible\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSeason one release\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eDisclaimer: This patch is satire. Please do not take any of these seriously.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"CSTM","offers":[{"title":"Ranger Green","offer_id":32190391124010,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-PEACEFUL-PROTESTER-G","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black","offer_id":32190391156778,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-PEACEFUL-PROTESTER-B","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2602\/7094\/products\/Peaceful_Protester_Patch_BRN_1.jpg?v=1667333819"},{"product_id":"completely-reprehensible-crap-patch","title":"Completely Reprehensible, Completely Reprehensible Admin Patch [S02]","description":"\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eMight as well be honest with yourself.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eSpecs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e2.5\" x 6\"\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eWoven polyester with woven lettering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eHook and loop backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eCompletely Reprehensible\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eSeason two release\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eDisclaimer: This patch is satire. Please do not take any of these seriously.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"CSTM","offers":[{"title":"Ranger Green","offer_id":39344378478634,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-ACTIVE-COMPLETELY REPREHENSIBLE-1","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black","offer_id":39344378511402,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-ACTIVE-COMPLETELY REPREHENSIBLE-2","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2602\/7094\/products\/CRAP_Patches_Two_Completely_Reprehensible_GRN.jpg?v=1617218130"},{"product_id":"secret-admirer-crap-patch","title":"Secret Admirer Completely Reprehensible Admin Patch [S02]","description":"\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eEvery breath you take,\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eEvery move you make,\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eI'll be watching you~\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eSpecs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e2.5\" x 6\"\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eWoven polyester with woven lettering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eHook and loop backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eCompletely Reprehensible\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eSeason two release\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eDisclaimer: This patch is satire. Please do not take any of these seriously.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"CSTM","offers":[{"title":"Ranger Green","offer_id":39344383066154,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-SECRET-ADMIRER-G","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black","offer_id":39344383098922,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-SECRET-ADMIRER-B","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2602\/7094\/products\/CRAP_Patches_Two_Secret_Admirer_GRN.jpg?v=1617218039"},{"product_id":"sneed-crap-patch","title":"Sneed Completely Reprehensible Admin Patch [S02]","description":"\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eFormerly Chuck's.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eSpecs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e2.5\" x 6\"\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eWoven polyester with woven lettering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eHook and loop backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eCompletely Reprehensible\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eSeason two release\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eDisclaimer: This patch is satire. Please do not take any of these seriously.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"CSTM","offers":[{"title":"Ranger Green","offer_id":39344387457066,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-SNEED-G","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black","offer_id":39344387489834,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-SNEED-B","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2602\/7094\/products\/CRAP_Patches_Two_Sneed_GRN.jpg?v=1617218009"},{"product_id":"grill-master-completely-reprehensible-admin-patch","title":"Grill Master Completely Reprehensible Admin Patch","description":"\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eIM A SIMPLE MAN... I JUST WANT TO MOW MY LAWN AND GRILL FOR GOD'S SAKE... YOU BETTER NOT BE USING CHARCOAL OUT THERE... IT RUINS THE FLAVOR...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- product posted from my tablet using Shopify\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eSpecs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e2.5\" x 6\"\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eWoven polyester with woven lettering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eHook and loop backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eCompletely Reprehensible\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eDisclaimer: This patch is satire. Please do not take any of these seriously.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"CSTM","offers":[{"title":"Ranger Green","offer_id":39523181363242,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-GRILL-RG","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black","offer_id":39523181396010,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-GRILL-BLK","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2602\/7094\/products\/CRAP_Patche_Three_Grill_Master_GRN.jpg?v=1629919433"},{"product_id":"crisis-actor-completely-reprehensible-admin-patch","title":"Crisis Actor Completely Reprehensible Admin Patch","description":"\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThis one is going to get us in trouble, isn't it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eSpecs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e2.5\" x 6\"\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eWoven polyester with woven lettering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eHook and loop backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eCompletely Reprehensible\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eDisclaimer: This patch is satire. Please do not take any of these seriously.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"CSTM","offers":[{"title":"Ranger Green","offer_id":39523181559850,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-CRISIS-RG","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black","offer_id":39523181592618,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-CRISIS-BLK","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2602\/7094\/products\/CRAP_Patche_Three_Crisis_Actor_GRN.jpg?v=1629919222"},{"product_id":"formerly-chucks-completely-reprehensible-admin-patch","title":"Formerly Chuck's Completely Reprehensible Admin Patch","description":"\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eI don't get it. It would just be Chuck's Feed \u0026amp; Seed...\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eSpecs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e2.5\" x 6\"\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eWoven polyester with woven lettering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eHook and loop backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eCompletely Reprehensible\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eDisclaimer: This patch is satire. Please do not take any of these seriously.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"CSTM","offers":[{"title":"Ranger Green","offer_id":39523183231018,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-CHUCK-RG","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black","offer_id":39523183263786,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-CHUCK-BLK","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2602\/7094\/products\/CRAP_Patche_Three_Formerly_Chuck_s_GRN.jpg?v=1629919416"},{"product_id":"bottom-text-completely-reprehensible-admin-patch","title":"Bottom Text Completely Reprehensible Admin Patch","description":"\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eENTER TOP TEXT\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- made using funny meme generator copyright 2012\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eSpecs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e2.5\" x 6\"\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eWoven polyester with woven lettering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eHook and loop backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eCompletely Reprehensible\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eDisclaimer: This patch is satire. Please do not take any of these seriously.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"CSTM","offers":[{"title":"Ranger Green","offer_id":39523183657002,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-BT-RG","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black","offer_id":39523183689770,"sku":"CHEST-PATCH-BT-BLK","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2602\/7094\/products\/CRAP_Patche_Three_Bottom_Text_GRN.jpg?v=1630104336"},{"product_id":"registered-defender-completely-reprehensible-admin-patch","title":"Registered Defender Completely Reprehensible Admin Patch","description":"\u003cp\u003eTHIS IS WHAT A MALE FEMINIST LOOKS LIKE.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e2.5\" x 6\"\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWoven polyester with woven lettering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHook and loop backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCompletely Reprehensible\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eDisclaimer: This patch is satire. Please do not take any of these seriously.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"MLPT","offers":[{"title":"Ranger Green","offer_id":40235994021930,"sku":"PTCH-CRAP-REG-DEF-RG","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black","offer_id":40235994054698,"sku":"PTCH-CRAP-REG-DEF-BLK","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2602\/7094\/products\/CRAP_registered_sex_defender_RG.jpg?v=1656836839"},{"product_id":"forklift-operator-completely-reprehensible-admin-patch","title":"Forklift Operator Completely Reprehensible Admin Patch","description":"\u003cp\u003eDON'T MESS WITH ME, IM A [FORKLIFT OPERATOR] AND I WAS BORN IN [city, state] IN [year]\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIM A PROUD [eagle emoji] PATRIOT [bald eagle and burger emoji] IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND A GUN OWNER [squirt gun emoji][punisher skull][badly airbrushed picture of a bobcat, not a forklift]\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e2.5\" x 6\"\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWoven polyester with woven lettering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHook and loop backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCompletely Reprehensible\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eDisclaimer: This patch is satire. 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Look what you've done.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEquip when you have have a category 6 silly incident, report to the local government and scramble the jets. \u003cem\u003eThings could get out of hand quickly\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e2.5\" x 6\"\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWoven polyester with woven lettering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHook and loop backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCompletely Reprehensible\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUpdated Ranger Green Colorway\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot ideal for the removal of HONKS\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eDisclaimer: This patch is satire. 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Please do not take any of these seriously.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"MLPT","offers":[{"title":"Ranger Green","offer_id":42203728478250,"sku":"PTCH-CRAP-CERT-RG","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black","offer_id":42203728511018,"sku":"PTCH-CRAP-CERT-BLK","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2602\/7094\/files\/CERTIFIED_RETARD_ODG.jpg?v=1732312607"},{"product_id":"war-criminal-completely-reprehensible-admin-patch","title":"War Criminal Completely Reprehensible Admin Patch","description":"\u003cp\u003eProudly display that you were out of office for when the Geneva convention was held, therefore you don't need to abide by the rules. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e2.5\" x 6\"\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWoven polyester with woven lettering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHook and loop backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCompletely Reprehensible\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUpdated Ranger Green Colorway\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eDisclaimer: This patch is satire. 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Please do not take any of these seriously.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"MLPT","offers":[{"title":"Ranger Green","offer_id":42203738734634,"sku":"PTCH-CRAP-UNCONVICT-RG","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black","offer_id":42203738767402,"sku":"PTCH-CRAP-UNCONVICT-BLK","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2602\/7094\/files\/UNCONVICTED_FELON_ODG.jpg?v=1732312551"},{"product_id":"tax-evader-completely-reprehensible-admin-patch","title":"Tax Evader Completely Reprehensible Admin Patch","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhat was usually punished with a good 'ol fashion public hanging back in the day is now practically a requirement to become a politician. Evading taxes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eEveryone does it kid, and you can too, just as long as the IRS isn't looking.\u003c\/em\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e2.5\" x 6\"\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWoven polyester with woven lettering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHook and loop backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCompletely Reprehensible\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUpdated Ranger Green Colorway\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eDisclaimer: This patch is satire. 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I beseech thee, take not any part thereof in earnest.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"MLPT","offers":[{"title":"Ranger Green","offer_id":43824609165354,"sku":"PTCH-CRAP-CHRIST-RG","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black","offer_id":43824609198122,"sku":"PTCH-CRAP-CHRIST-BLK","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2602\/7094\/files\/Brother_In_Christ_Patch_Black.jpg?v=1764546542"},{"product_id":"tard-wrangler-completely-reprehensible-admin-patch","title":"Tard Wrangler Completely Reprehensible Admin Patch","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eYou’re a lone trailblazer type of guy, the kind who wakes with the dawn, boots caked in red dirt, ready to wrestle the wind. You don’t flinch when the trail gets rough. Through thorns, barbed wire, and heatstroke, you push through with a steed of steel and a spirit forged in the frontier. That 1992 Tercel is your chariot, hauling 300lbs of grit to the public school or YMCA, its engine growling like a bull dying after its final rodeo. You tip your hat to the old ways: saddle leather, open range, hemp lassos, but you’ve got a modern edge, a knack for turning chaos into conquest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eYou’re the fella who’d stare down a dust storm with a smirk, knowing this tard’s yours to tame. Whether it's a big drive down to the science museum or a one-on-one rodeo in the cafeteria, you live by your own code: rugged, real, and unapologetic, grilled cheese in hand. This ain’t no city-slicker’s playground; it’s your domain, where every scar tells a story. 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You cast aside e-thots with ease, bench twice your body weight, and smack down worldly temptations with your iron will. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"Vitality flows where gooning falters--thou art the master of thy feed.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e2.5\" x 6\"\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWoven polyester with woven lettering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHook and loop backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCompletely Reprehensible\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRepels Siren songs\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRanger Green or Black\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eDisclaimer: This patch is satire. 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Please do not take any of these seriously.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"MLPT","offers":[{"title":"Ranger Green","offer_id":43824617291818,"sku":"PTCH-CRAP-TMFLRY-RG","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black","offer_id":43824617324586,"sku":"PTCH-CRAP-TMFLRY-BLK","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2602\/7094\/files\/Tomfoolery_Expert_Patch_Black.jpg?v=1764546502"},{"product_id":"vibe-checker-completely-reprehensible-admin-patch","title":"Vibe Checker Completely Reprehensible Admin Patch","description":"\u003cp\u003eThere was a time when vibe checking meant checking in with everyone's emotional state, but these days--only ultra-violence. 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