We're bringing out the Big Balls™ . We've loaded 2022's first gumball machine with New Production P83 and P84 Chest rigs, A complete PVS-7 night vision device, a variety of unlisted surplus, and some of our wackiest warehouse artifacts & gag items to date. Vend Big and Vend responsibly...
About the Sale
The Gumball Machine is simple and driven by pure chance. We select a bunch of items for clearance, publish the odds, and distribute them randomly as you order. No special requests for items are honored, it's all down to what the random number generator says...
In the end, everyone walks away a winner — we get to empty our shelves, and you get amazing deals and weird one-offs from our warehouse.
Please note that this is a clearance event. Returns are not accepted on Gumball orders.
A Special Note on Sizing & Condition
Sized Gumball items will be distributed randomly unless specifically stated otherwise in the description below. You are free to request certain sizes of items in your order notes but we can make no guarantees of availability.
Unless stated otherwise Gumball items arein either new or in Grade 1 (excellent) condition.
The Gumball Process
Below you will find the table of available items in the Gumball Machine, each with a corresponding percentile chance. Gumball Machine items are determined through the following RNG system — no requests for specific items are allowed.
Let’s say you have your eye on a particular item and want to calculate your chance of getting it, at least once, across multiple Gumballs. The formula for this is:
1 - ( 1 - % Chance) ^ (# of Chances)
If item A has a 20% chance per Gumball, and you purchase three Gumballs, here's how it would shake out. Your chance at item A is equal to:
1 - (1 - 0.20)^3 = 0.488
In other words, your chance at item A is 48.8%
Note: To use this formula you need to express the percentage chance in decimal form. The 20% chance in the formula above is written as "0.20" not "20."
Happy hunting and may RNGesus bless you!
| Item | Chance | Retail |
| German Customs Jacket | 8.29% | $59.99 |
| 3-Pack Bundeswehr Issue "Baderhosen" Swim Trunks | 6.64% | $14.97 |
| 2-Pack Bundeswehr Folding Desert Goggles | 6.45% | $15.99 |
| Danish White Net Shirt | 5.81% | $9.99 |
| 2-Pack Many Beanis Zibby Beans | 4.56% | $13.98 |
| $15 Gift Card | 4.15% | $15.00 |
| 3" Mini Gondola Plush | 4.15% | $14.99 |
| Czech M60 Canteen | 4.15% | $11.99 |
| Swiss Expanding Messenger Case | 4.15% | $26.99 |
| Czech Service Shirt | 4.15% | $14.99 |
| Italian Forze Armate Dust Goggles | 3.85% | $9.99 |
|
Gondola The Plush |
3.32% | $34.99 |
| 3-Pack Belgian Khaki Service Shirt | 3.15% | $47.97 |
| $20 Gift Card | 2.57% | $20.00 |
| Bundeswehr "Bademantel" Bathrobe | 2.49% | $35.99 |
| German Customs Turtleneck Sweater | 2.49% | $44.99 |
| Swiss M71 Stove (with Fuel) | 2.49% | $9.99 |
| 2-Pack Bundeswehr G3 (.308) Cleaning Kit | 2.49% | $11.99 |
| French CCE F1 Field Cap | 2.32% | $9.99 |
| Swiss OD Rubberized Sack | 2.07% | $17.99 |
| 2-Pack Czech OD Vinyl Waterproof Poncho | 2.07% | $15.99 |
| Czech 3-Color Signaling Flashlight | 1.66% | $24.99 |
| Italian Carbineri Visor Hat | 1.66% | $19.99 |
| Luftwaffe Nomex Pilot Gloves | 1.66% | $24.99 |
| Training Inert Baseball Grenade | 1.66% | $19.99 |
| 2-Pack "Constant Hawk" Mission Patch | 1.64% | $15.98 |
| Blem Swiss M70 Alpenflage Parka | 1.06% | $34.99 |
| GORE-TEX German Polizei Duty Parka | 0.83% | $99.99 |
| Blem Bundeswehr Parka Liner | 0.66% | $28.99 |
| Warehouse Artifacts | 0.58% | Priceless :) |
| TM-62 Landmine | 0.56% | $54.99 |
| Blem Zibby Mug | 0.55% | $14.99 |
| 6' Big Gondola | 0.50% | $169.99 |
| M81 ALICE STANAG Mag Pouch | 0.50% | $9.99 |
| Blem Desert DPM Field Shirt | 0.40% | $24.99 |
| Bundeswehr Sport Training Shoes | 0.83% | $39.99 |
| $50.00 Gift Card | 0.33% | $50.00 |
| Blem Austrian Gore-Tex Alpine Hardshell Pants | 0.32% | $69.99 |
| USGI ALICE Backpack | 0.30% | $49.99 |
| 2-Pack Blem Bundeswehr OD Short Sleeve Shirt | 0.28% | $13.98 |
| Blem ALICE STANAG Pouch | 0.25% | $14.99 |
| Blem Bundeswehr Flecktarn Field Shirt | 0.25% | $19.99 |
| Ivan's Ghost Grads | 0.25% | $9.99 |
| Blem Swiss M70 Field Pants | 0.22% | $29.99 |
| 2-Pack Blem Bundeswehr PT Shirts | 0.20% | $14.98 |
| $100 Gift Card | 0.17% | $100.00 |
| Pattern 84 Chest Rig - MultiCam | 0.08% | $219.99 |
| Pattern 84 Chest Rig - MultiCam Black | 0.08% | $229.99 |
| Insane Customer Submitted Leprechaun Story from 2019 | 0.08% | Priceless :) |
| Free CONUS Shipping for 1 Year | 0.08% | $150.00 |
| Handsome Warehouse Worker Socks (Used, Unwashed) | 0.08% | Priceless :) |
| Battle-Damaged Pattern 83 Battle Jacket | 0.07% | $199.99 |
| Blem German Waterproof Poncho / Shelter Half | 0.07% | $29.99 |
| 3D Printed TPU Feet | 0.07% | Priceless :) |
| A Bag of Phalluses | 0.07% | Priceless :) |
| Czech "Medical" Urine Glass Bottles | 0.05% | Relic |
| We Send A Sub Sandwich To Your House | 0.05% | $30.00 |
| 3D Printed Pregnant (or Fat) Judy Hopps From the Motion Picture Zootopia | 0.03% | Priceless :) |
| $500 Gift Card | 0.02% | $500.00 |
| Omni 6 PVS-7 (US ONLY) | 0.02% | $2,299.99 |
| 5-Pack Blem Swiss Tube Scarf | 0.02% | $39.95 |
| Original Haiku Written by our Customer Service Desk | 0.02% | Priceless :) |
| Out of the Ruins by Len Gilbert (A WW2 Furry Anthro Novella) | 0.02% | Priceless :) |
Ivan blessed me with a $50 Gift Card, A British Top and Balaclava, and a Hockey Jersey. Praise Ivan!
Got some great stuff guys thanks
GUUUUUMMMMMMMBBBBBAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL
This is better than gambling because you get something worthwhile instead of blowing all your money on a slot machine.
No matter what weirdness you get it's worth it!
