INDEPENDENCE BOX

INDEPENDENCE BOX

Rated 4.9 out of 5
19 Reviews
Regular price
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Sale price
$99.99

*Available for US Orders Only*

A box so free a nesting pair of Bald Eagles named Thomas Jefferson and Betsy Ross made a nest inside it. With little red, white, and blue freedom eggs and a half gallon of Coke, the real thick corn syrup based stuff.

Also the strongest economy in the world, the strongest military in the world, the majority of the worlds charity and foreign aid spending, the moon landing, the entirety of the United Nations and NATO, pretty much every modern invention of any consequence, every modern film, tv show, or play more than three people and and some French critic care about...

It's a pretty big box.

INGREDIENTS:

Freedom, three exact genetic clones of the Marlboro cowboy, one used silicone breast implant, decorative 7075 aluminum alloy "paperweight(s)", a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey, hamburger in non-biodegradable styrofoam box, patriotically-grease-stained tank top, and a copy of the deluxe edition Top Gun release on VHS with included soundtrack cassette. Less than 1% of red dye #3, McDonalds single serving ketchup packets, misc brass shell casings, naturally derived flavors from empty Arizona iced-tea cans.


HOW TO PLEASE THE BOX ORACLE:
What exactly you receive is decided by the box oracle. Be warned, the oracle is a fickle creature. Please it with your tribute and you will be rewarded. Provoke it and you risk its childish spite.

MYSTERY BOX FAQ:
Mystery boxes are a long standing and well loved tradition. While there are no guarantees what exactly you receive, every box contains more than it's face value in surplus and "warehouse deals" including items which have blemishes. Sizing is not guaranteed.

All mystery boxes ship free to the US (including Alaska and Hawaii).

average rating 4.9 out of 5
Based on 19 reviews
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100% of reviewers would recommend these products to a friend
19 Reviews
Review posted
Rated 5 out of 5

Big Good

Great box with decorations and EXCELLENT contents

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Review posted
Rated 5 out of 5

Holy shit guys

3x wife beaters, camo pants, 3x camo blouse, scarf, a bag, a manual, and a notebook. And a cat collar I think. Good stuff.

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Review posted
Rated 5 out of 5

all hail murder/k/ube! lord of the boxes

The box god was good to me, it gave me everything I wanted, and shit I didn't know I wanted!! Now I can go innawoods.

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Review posted
Rated 4 out of 5

Fruit Snacks

I like fruit snacks 9/10

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Review posted
Rated 5 out of 5

As usual, very satisfied

Got some good stuff, got some useless stuff, everything I wanted!

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