The PPE Pump

This Wednesday we reintroduced our famous RNG-driven clearance sale with a twist. Unlike our usual 'gumball machine' sales, everything in the PPE Pump is brand new, regular inventory.

What does this mean for you? Well, it means literally thousands of high value items are up for grabs. You can get a brand new SGE 400/3 gasmask, chemical suit, or a CAT7 Tourniquet---all for only $6.99 a pop. We'll even order you a pizza. Do we actually make a profit doing this? No. It's about a 30% loss. Is it fun? Abso-friggen-lutely.

About the Sale

The PPE Pump is simple and driven by pure chance. We select a bunch of items for clearance, publish the odds, and distribute them randomly as you order. No special requests for items are honored, it's all down to what the random number generator says...

In the end, everyone walks away a winner — we get to empty our shelves, and you get amazing deals and weird one-offs from our warehouse.

Please note that this is a clearance event. Returns are not accepted on PPE Pump orders.

A Special Note on Sizing

Sized PPE Pump items such as our selection of nitrile and latex gloves will be distributed randomly unless specifically stated otherwise in the description below. You are free to request certain sizes of items in your order notes but really it's down to chance.

The Dispensing Process

Below you will find the table of available items in the PPE Pump, each with a corresponding percentile chance. Every squirt of the PPE Pump is determined through the following RNG system — no requests for specific items are allowed.

Let’s say you have your eye on a particular item and want to calculate your chance of getting it, at least once, across multiple items. The formula for this is:

1 - ( 1 - % Chance) ^ (# of Chances)

If item A has a 20% chance per pump, and you purchase three pumps, here's how it would shake out. Your chance at item A is equal to:

1 - (1 - 0.20)^3 = 0.488

In other words, your chance at item A is 48.8%

Note: To use this formula you need to express the percentage chance in decimal form. The 20% chance in the formula above is written as "0.20" not "20."

Happy pumping and may RNGesus bless you!

Item Probability Retail
10pk MedPride 3-ply Surgical Face Masks (FDA Approved) 31.23% $11.99
SCOTT P100 P3R FIlter 25.47% $24.99
Ameriqual Apack Ready Meal 18.03% $9.99
SCOTT CAP1 CBRN Filter 10.19% $24.99
Dupont Pathogen Rated Tychem Suit 2XL 7.64% $14.99
1ST Choice 4 Mil Ivory Latex Gloves (Box) Medium 6.67% $14.95
NAR 'Bear Claw' Nitrile Gloves Small - Box of 100 3.57% $24.99
1ST Choice 3 Mil Blue Nitrile Gloves (Box) Small 3.57% $17.95
H&H Sterile Burn Dressing 3.41% $4.99
Nasal Trumpet Fixed Flange 3.31% $6.99
Ivan's Zibby Beans: Dark Choco 2.55% $6.99
Ivan's Zibby Beans: Mocha 2.55% $6.99
Ivan's Zibby Beans: Milk Choco 2.55% $6.99
H&H MIST Casualty Treatment Report Card 1.94% $1.99
Combat Application Tourniquet (C.A.T) Gen 7 1.78% $29.99
Mestel Safety SGE 150 Gas Mask Medium / Large 1.78% $149.99
NAR Saline IV Lock kit 1.02% $10.99
NAR Retractable Medical Shear Leash 1.02% $12.99
NAR 'Bear Claw' Nitrile Gloves Medium - Box of 100 0.76% $24.99
NAR 'Bear Claw' Nitrile Gloves Extra Large - Box of 90 0.51% $24.99
Warehouse employee feet pics 0.51% Priceless
We order you a pizza 0.25% ~$25.00
Santa's Little Helper: We Mail You Zibby Beans Set to Arrive on Christmas Eve 2020 0.25% $6.99
Mestel Safety SGE 400/3 Gas Mask - Medium/Large 0.15% $239.99
1 Year Free CONUS Shipping 0.15% Depends
Lock of Ivan's Hair 0.15% Priceless
Mr. Bill nudes 0.15% Priceless
Richo SP C261SNFw Printer Which Requires Partial Disassembly to Clean an Internal Sensor (We Are Too Lazy to do This.) 0.05% $363.72

 

 

The PPE Pump

Rated 4.8 out of 5
27 Reviews
Regular price
$6.99
Sale price
$6.99
Regular price
Sold out
Unit price
per 

This Wednesday we reintroduced our famous RNG-driven clearance sale with a twist. Unlike our usual 'gumball machine' sales, everything in the PPE Pump is brand new, regular inventory.

What does this mean for you? Well, it means literally thousands of high value items are up for grabs. You can get a brand new SGE 400/3 gasmask, chemical suit, or a CAT7 Tourniquet---all for only $6.99 a pop. We'll even order you a pizza. Do we actually make a profit doing this? No. It's about a 30% loss. Is it fun? Abso-friggen-lutely.

About the Sale

The PPE Pump is simple and driven by pure chance. We select a bunch of items for clearance, publish the odds, and distribute them randomly as you order. No special requests for items are honored, it's all down to what the random number generator says...

In the end, everyone walks away a winner — we get to empty our shelves, and you get amazing deals and weird one-offs from our warehouse.

Please note that this is a clearance event. Returns are not accepted on PPE Pump orders.

A Special Note on Sizing

Sized PPE Pump items such as our selection of nitrile and latex gloves will be distributed randomly unless specifically stated otherwise in the description below. You are free to request certain sizes of items in your order notes but really it's down to chance.

The Dispensing Process

Below you will find the table of available items in the PPE Pump, each with a corresponding percentile chance. Every squirt of the PPE Pump is determined through the following RNG system — no requests for specific items are allowed.

Let’s say you have your eye on a particular item and want to calculate your chance of getting it, at least once, across multiple items. The formula for this is:

1 - ( 1 - % Chance) ^ (# of Chances)

If item A has a 20% chance per pump, and you purchase three pumps, here's how it would shake out. Your chance at item A is equal to:

1 - (1 - 0.20)^3 = 0.488

In other words, your chance at item A is 48.8%

Note: To use this formula you need to express the percentage chance in decimal form. The 20% chance in the formula above is written as "0.20" not "20."

Happy pumping and may RNGesus bless you!

Item Probability Retail
10pk MedPride 3-ply Surgical Face Masks (FDA Approved) 31.23% $11.99
SCOTT P100 P3R FIlter 25.47% $24.99
Ameriqual Apack Ready Meal 18.03% $9.99
SCOTT CAP1 CBRN Filter 10.19% $24.99
Dupont Pathogen Rated Tychem Suit 2XL 7.64% $14.99
1ST Choice 4 Mil Ivory Latex Gloves (Box) Medium 6.67% $14.95
NAR 'Bear Claw' Nitrile Gloves Small - Box of 100 3.57% $24.99
1ST Choice 3 Mil Blue Nitrile Gloves (Box) Small 3.57% $17.95
H&H Sterile Burn Dressing 3.41% $4.99
Nasal Trumpet Fixed Flange 3.31% $6.99
Ivan's Zibby Beans: Dark Choco 2.55% $6.99
Ivan's Zibby Beans: Mocha 2.55% $6.99
Ivan's Zibby Beans: Milk Choco 2.55% $6.99
H&H MIST Casualty Treatment Report Card 1.94% $1.99
Combat Application Tourniquet (C.A.T) Gen 7 1.78% $29.99
Mestel Safety SGE 150 Gas Mask Medium / Large 1.78% $149.99
NAR Saline IV Lock kit 1.02% $10.99
NAR Retractable Medical Shear Leash 1.02% $12.99
NAR 'Bear Claw' Nitrile Gloves Medium - Box of 100 0.76% $24.99
NAR 'Bear Claw' Nitrile Gloves Extra Large - Box of 90 0.51% $24.99
Warehouse employee feet pics 0.51% Priceless
We order you a pizza 0.25% ~$25.00
Santa's Little Helper: We Mail You Zibby Beans Set to Arrive on Christmas Eve 2020 0.25% $6.99
Mestel Safety SGE 400/3 Gas Mask - Medium/Large 0.15% $239.99
1 Year Free CONUS Shipping 0.15% Depends
Lock of Ivan's Hair 0.15% Priceless
Mr. Bill nudes 0.15% Priceless
Richo SP C261SNFw Printer Which Requires Partial Disassembly to Clean an Internal Sensor (We Are Too Lazy to do This.) 0.05% $363.72

 

 

average rating 4.8 out of 5
Based on 27 reviews
  • 5 Stars
    24 Reviews
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    2 Reviews
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Customer photos and videos
27 Reviews
Reviewed by William
Verified Buyer
I recommend this product
Rated 3 out of 5
Review posted

its OK

I'm a big guy(UUUU), So i often have a problem with nothing ever fitting me, especially gloves, and sadly, nearly everything i recieved from this package did not fit me. I got a few nice gas mask filters and some surgical masks at least, so it was worth it

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Reviewed by Rusty S.
Verified Buyer
I recommend this product
Rated 5 out of 5
Review posted

Moist PPE

Sent away a few bucks for random plague gift, got cloth face coverings and bean snacks for barter with the raider tribals.

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Reviewed by Joshua G.
Verified Buyer
I recommend this product
Rated 5 out of 5
Review posted

Rolled 4x and came out on top!

Rolled 4x and got two packages of surgical masks, an emergency ration, and a brand new gas mask with a filter. If I had to estimate, I got about 3x the value spent(including shipping) with what I got. Would definitely do it again.

(NOTE: Objects received were a result of luck, your luck may vary)

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Reviewed by Jon
Verified Buyer
I recommend this product
Rated 5 out of 5
Review posted

Worth it

I got fifty latex gloves, ten three-ply masks, and a spaghetti MRE. it was pretty cool.

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Reviewed by Austin
Verified Buyer
I recommend this product
Rated 5 out of 5
Review posted

Perfect for back to school

Warehouse Ivan did a good job helping me get back to school clothes. With my tychem suit I'll be the most fashionable student in class

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