The Big Fish Hat

The ground trembles as you walk.

The definition of "fear" in the dictionary features a picture of you.

You are the harbinger of death, bane of creatures subaqueous.
No man on this barren, twisted mortal plane dare to share the horrors of the wriggling worms cast away by the hundreds on your hook.
None will find solace in the endless seas of the damned...
They will cower in fear at your gaze and at your twisted crown.

The burden of it's power rests on your head alone.
It is a truly evil artifact with near limitless power, do you dare accept it?

But hey, every time you wear this you'll reel in so many lake trout and widemouthed bass you'll need a 2nd livewell.

 

Specs

• One size fits all, and damn well (it's comfy)
  
• A jaw-dropping 20cm (nearly 8 inches, well above average) tall, with plenty of room for larger and taller heads.
• Breathable trucker-style mesh
• Snap adjustment on the back
• Women will fear you, fish will fear you
• Printed text reads: WOMEN FEAR ME FISH FEAR ME MEN TURN THEIR EYES AWAY FROM ME AS I WALK NO BEASTS DARE MAKE A SOUND IN MY PRESENCE I AM ALONE ON THIS BAREN EARTH
• DO NOT WEAR AT AQUARIUMS, KommandoStore is not responsible for any untoward events

 New Features:

• Improved mesh fabric FOR THE BOYS IN THE TRUCKS
  
• Fish-print seam lining FOR THE BIG CATCH
• Slightly more grammatical SO YOU CAN GET YOUR G.E.D.
• Increased range of adjustment for BIGGER heads