Ivan's Moving Jawbreaker

I bought two sweaty Boomer Balls, hoping for the extra musky surplus smell, the damp scent of warehouse (better than any cologne) and sweat. Smells like... manhood. To my surprise, I got my wish and much more! A freakin' gift card! That's so cool and what is even better, as a Eurotard, thanks to your beautiful orange Emperor, I didn't have to pay any custom duties. Unfortunately, now I've to decide how to put that Gift Card to good use. Either something of the Strelka or 84 Line.

Thanks, Kommandostore!

1 star off for the disappointing return, another star because they weren't even good MREs. Vegetable stew? At least I get a first strike bar. I got a size small turkish camo blouse as well, I guess if I land a young Ottoman smokeshow I can dress her in it. She can call me... Mustafa. Mustafa the Conqueror. Otherwise it's useless. My friend also bought 3 gumballs and got the same return: 3 MREs and a small turkish blouse. Some odds, right? I would've gone for 2 stars, but my other buddy bought 10 gumballs and got a sick Italian ski mask and some German officer shirts. Here's hoping the next one is better. Rolling for gondola and alpenflage. Salute /k/illers. Throw some spices in the next one, maybe a nice marinade, I'm feeling saucy. Mustafa out.

Very yummy

Got a lovely big fish hat and five cool rings for my collection, one day I'll get night vision I know it