Universal patch applicable to all Christendom.

*Hand on chest* "Verily, my Brother in Christ, art thou in earnest? What in the name of heaven dost thou thinkest thou art doing?"

Specifications

• Breadth and length: Three to four fingerbreadths by eight fingerbreadths, or nigh two-thirds of a span by a span less a trifle.
  
• Wrought of polyester, with lettering likewise wrought.
• Fastened with hooks and loops for securing.
• Utterly Abominable in its Nature.
• Garden of Eden Green or Black as the accuser

Disclamation: 

Verily, this patch is a jest and satire, crafted for mirth. I beseech thee, take not any part thereof in earnest.