Officially Licensed Bohemia Interactive Product
You spawned in a random corner of Chernarus, punched a zombie with your bare fists, and ate vintage beans from a rusty, blood-encrusted can. You’ve eyed that sizzling human steak, wondering if it’s worth the Kuru shakes. Time to welcome that twisted survival fantasy into your heart and home– prion disease optional. Welcome the DayZ Plush Human Steak, right here on KommandoStore through partnership with Bohemia Interactive.
A plush tribute to the brutal, unfiltered chaos of DayZ is here to replace dear old Mr. Snuggums in your sleeping bag.S
You’re a hardened DayZ vet with ‘tistic levels of devotion, or at least you say you are on Discord. This plush human steak captures the edgelord player-killer essence in ways "lootbox" merch never could. KommandoStore teamed up with the twisted minds at Bohemia Interactive to make this happen, and we’re delivering it straight to your mom’s basement for a few mere neetbux. It’s the perfect meal to satiate you after 50 hours of sprinting from Berezino to the NWAF.
This sickeningly adorable plush human steak screams “I’ve eaten worse, and I’d do it again.” It’s not socially acceptable, but neither are you.
Specs
Care and Handling:
First and foremost, we'd like to remind you that these plushies are for humans only. They're a very tempting chew toy, but they aren't designed for that anything like that. So, unless your dog is really good at gentle-mouth-fetch we recommend keeping these well out of reach.
We inspected every plush in our warehouse to check for quality, but occasionally mistakes happen. If you find that your plush arrives with a manufacturing error or damage from shipping, please contact us for a free replacement. Just shoot an email to help@kommandostore.com
Human Steak - Official DayZ Plush
I love this pillow and even though I can't stop laughing uncontrollably after consuming it's savory meatyness, it's still soft and cuddle able. I suggest getting yourself one, just don't eat it or you may suffer from incurable laughing disorder, just hold it close to your heart, and have sweet meat dreams!
An exact 1:1 from the video game to real life. A bit tough, and chewy when cooked though. Still great in a pinch. I'd suggest reading the warning labels before driving, or operating heavy machinery, as the twitches can be a real awakening. 12/10, highly recommend.
Very tasty but was a bit raw. Very good quality.
For some reason after I ate one I can't stop laughing! I want to finish off the rest!
And if they're really bad, I eat their flesh
