To comply with CERTAIN TERMS OF SERVICE our copywriter has adapted the infamous copypasta KidzBop style for the sake of this product description.

What the heck did you just frickin’ say about me, you little whiner? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed un-alives.

I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces (in minecraft). You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the frick out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my frickin’ words. You think you can get away with saying that crap to me over the Internet?

Think again, buddy. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, buddy.

The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re frickin dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can un-alive you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.

Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps (in roblox) and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable butt off the face of the continent, you little poopy-head.

If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your stinking tongue.

But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you big jerk. I will rain fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re in frickin’ trouble, mister.

Specs

• 3.75" x 7.5" 
  
• Woven polyester with woven lettering
• Hook and loop backing
• Completely Reprehensible
• Updated Ranger Green Colorway
  

 

Disclaimer: This patch is satire. Please do not take any of these seriously.