Ivan's Gumball Time Machine
- Available
- Backordered, shipping soon
WE NEED TO GO BACK.
Now dispensing Balls™ from all across the space-time continuum. With our largest item pool ever, Ivan's time machine brings 2000s USGI surplus, up to $500 in gift cards, and even a few colonial artifacts...
Please note, gumball orders will be combined & fulfilled with other 4th of July sale orders, starting on the 5th.
About the Sale
The Gumball Machine is simple and driven by pure chance. We select a bunch of items for clearance, publish the odds, and distribute them randomly as you order. No special requests for items are honored, it's all down to what the random number generator says...
In the end, everyone walks away a winner — we get to empty our shelves, and you get amazing deals and weird one-offs from our warehouse.
Please note that this is a clearance event. Returns are not accepted on Gumball orders.
A Special Note on Sizing & Condition
Sized Gumball items will be distributed randomly unless specifically stated otherwise in the description below. You are free to request certain sizes of items in your order notes but we can make no guarantees of availability.
Unless stated otherwise Gumball items arein either new or in Grade 1 (excellent) condition.
The Gumball Process
Below you will find the table of available items in the Gumball Machine, each with a corresponding percentile chance. Gumball Machine items are determined through the following RNG system — no requests for specific items are allowed.
Let’s say you have your eye on a particular item and want to calculate your chance of getting it, at least once, across multiple Gumballs. The formula for this is:
1 - ( 1 - % Chance) ^ (# of Chances)
If item A has a 20% chance per Gumball, and you purchase three Gumballs, here's how it would shake out. Your chance at item A is equal to:
1 - (1 - 0.20)^3 = 0.488
In other words, your chance at item A is 48.8%
Note: To use this formula you need to express the percentage chance in decimal form. The 20% chance in the formula above is written as "0.20" not "20."
Happy hunting and may RNGesus bless you!
"Rare" Items
Item | Chance | Retail |
USGI Warm Weather Combat Boots, Tan |
1.05% | $99.99 |
New Production Pattern 83 Chest Rig - Nutria Brown |
0.27% | $124.99 |
Tingley Rubber Overshoes | 0.23% | $24.99 |
$100 Gift Card | 0.07% | $100.00 |
Serviceable+ SADF Pattern 83 Battle Jacket | 0.18% | $199.99 |
Blem PCU Level 7 Parka | 0.14% | $169.99 |
ABU Flyer's Kit Bag | 0.11% | $69.99 |
Sommerblouson Bomber Jacket (Your Size & Patch) | 0.09% | $199.99 |
Pattern 84 Chest Rig - MultiCam Black |
0.09% |
$199.99 |
Pattern 84 Chest Rig - MultiCam | 0.09% | $194.99 |
Declaration of Independence (REAL) ;) | 0.09% | King George III's Tears |
USGI Combat Vehicle Coveralls |
0.05% | $89.99 |
$500 Gift Card | 0.05% | $500.00 |
Tin Whistle |
0.05% | $12.00 |
1772 American Cookbook | 0.05% | Yum :) |
Paulson BS-9 Riot shield (Stickerbombed) |
0.04% | $299.99 |
An Entire Charcoal Grill, For God's Sake | 0.04% | $199.99 |
USGI CWU-27P Flyer Coveralls |
0.01% | $74.99 |
Micro™ Charcoal Grill, For God's Sake | 0.01% | $49.99 |
COB Timberking Pneumatic Underwater Chainsaw (Yes, Really) |
0.02% | $1,699.99 |
Blem USGI CWU-36P Summer Flyer's Jacket |
0.02% | $49.99 |
First Spear Deployment Bag, Multicam | 0.02% | $299.99 |
USGI ECW N-3B Type Parka (Medium) | 0.02% | $169.99 |
Battle-Damaged Mercury Tactical Gear Mini Monster Deployment Bag | 0.02% | $177.99 |
"Borrowed" Tax-Free Tea Chest | 0.02% |
King George III's Tears |
Maple Fife | 0.02% | $35.00 |
Blu-Ray Copy of HEAT (1995) | 0.02% | $17.99 |
ABU Enhanced Flyer's Kit Bag | 0.02% | $119.99 |
"Common" Items
Item | Chance | Retail |
"Inert" TM-62 Landmine Plush | 7.48% | $15.99 |
Blem USMC Accordion Sleeping Mat | 6.57% | $24.99 |
1' Gondola plush | 5.88% | $34.99 |
Two-Pack USAF ABU MOLLE Double Pistol Mag Pouch |
4.33% | $29.99 |
M18 Smoke Grenade Plush | 3.56% | $15.99 |
Blem ESS Crossbow Glasses Set |
3.38% | $34.99 |
$15 Gift Card | 3.37% | $15.00 |
Blem Bundeswehr PT Pants |
2.65% | $19.99 |
Two-Pack USGI ACU Multi-Tool/TQ Pouch |
2.26% | $19.98 |
Two-Pack Blem USGI Waterproof Clothing Bag |
1.87% | $17.98 |
USGI ACU 100rd SAW Pouch |
1.82% | $14.99 |
$20 Gift Card | 1.78% | $20.00 |
Czech Short Sleeve Service Shirt |
1.78% | $15.99 |
Two-Pack Belgian Service Shirt |
1.78% | $31.98 |
Gondola Onesie |
1.76% | $64.99 |
Two-Pack USGI IFAK Insert |
1.59% | $11.99 |
Blem Bundeswehr PT Jacket |
1.57% | $19.99 |
USGI ACU Triple 40mm Pouch |
1.37% | $17.99 |
Blem USGI Self-Inflating Sleeping Mat |
1.37% | $39.99 |
$25 Gift Card | 1.34% | $25.00 |
Czech Tube Scarf |
1.34% | $9.99 |
M67 Frag Grenade Plush |
1.34% | $15.99 |
Two-Pack Arabian Nightmare F-117 Squadron Patch |
1.34% | $15.98 |
Two-Pack USGI ACU 1 Quart Canteen Pouch |
1.32% | $19.98 |
USGI ACU Medium General Purpose Pouch |
1.25% | $24.99 |
USGI ACU Fighting Load Carrier |
1.25% | $24.99 |
Blem MARPAT Shelter Half |
1.23% | $39.99 |
USGI Dress Blue Pants |
1.18% | $24.99 |
Unissued Austrian Cotton/Poly M65 Parka |
1.07% | $54.99 |
Two-Pack Ivan's Fiery Grads |
0.98% | $12.98 |
Two-Pack ACU Three Mag STANAG Placard |
0.96% | $23.98 |
Two-Pack Black Zodiac CRAP Patch |
0.89% | $19.98 |
German Bundeswehr Flecktarn Parka (Size 12) |
0.89% | $44.99 |
German Bundeswehr Flecktarn Parka (Size 06, Post-05) |
0.89% | $44.99 |
Two-Pack F117 Nighthawk Keychain |
0.89% | $23.98 |
Two-Pack USGI ACU IFAK Pouch |
0.89% | $25.98 |
German Customs Turtleneck Sweater | 0.89% | $44.99 |
Two-Pack USAF ABU Single STANAG Mag Pouch | 0.80% | $17.98 |
USGI ACU 200rd SAW Pouch with Divider |
0.77% | $19.99 |
USAF ABU MOLLE Single Pistol Mag Pouch |
0.75% | $11.99 |
Austrian M75 Heavyweight Field Shirt |
0.71% | $19.99 |
Two-Pack West German Load Bearing Belt |
0.71% | $17.98 |
ABU Dual Handcuff Pouch |
0.66% | $14.99 |
Blem USGI "Basic" Duffle Bag |
0.62% | $19.99 |
Warehouse Artifacts | 0.62% | Priceless :) |
Two-Pack Battle-Damaged USGI Barracks Bags |
0.62% | $15.98 |
Factory New Austrian Waterproof M65 Parka |
0.57% | $94.99 |
ABU Padded NVG Insert |
0.50% | $19.99 |
Blem Versengtarn 'Lite' Parka |
0.48% | $99.99 |
5-Pack East German Tent Stakes |
0.46% | $11.99 |
$50 Gift Card |
0.45% |
$50.00 |
Paulson DK-5 Riot Shield Face Visor |
0.45% | $59.99 |
Blem British Desert "Green Zone" Field Shirt |
0.45% | $59.99 |
USGI Dress Blue Pants w/ Yellow Stripe |
0.45% | $29.99 |
Two-Pack ACU Double Mag STANAG Pouch, Velcro Pull |
0.45% | $29.98 |
Two-Pack Bundeswehr G3 Magazine Pouch (New-Gen) |
0.43% | $13.98 |
Helicopter Aircrew Breathing Device Pouch, OD MOLLE |
0.39% | $19.99 |
USGI White Dress Trousers |
0.37% | $24.99 |
USGI ACU Extreme Cold Weather Mittens |
0.36% | $39.99 |
USAF ABU Medium General Purpose Pouch |
0.36% | $19.99 |
Blem USMC FROG FR Thermal Bottoms |
0.36% | $24.99 |
Big Gondola Plush |
0.36% | $169.99 |
USMC Garrison Dress Jacket |
0.34% | $29.99 |
USGI ACU MOLLE Double Pistol Mag Pouch |
0.32% | $14.99 |
Blem Versengtarn Field Shirt |
0.32% | $59.99 |
Blem USMC FROG FR Thermal Pullover |
0.30% | $34.99 |
USGI Food Service Smock |
0.29% | $14.99 |
Safariland MIlitary Police Duty Belt |
0.27% | $60.00 |
Two-Pack Assorted USGI Tees |
0.27% | $16.98 |
Blem USMC Fleece Pullover |
0.25% | $39.99 |
Two-Pack Bundeswehr G3 Magazine Pouch (Old-Gen) |
0.25% | $11.98 |
Two-Pack Tropen Tricot Shirt |
0.25% | $18.98 |
Blem Polish M93 Rucksack |
0.25% | $19.99 |
German Customs Jacket |
0.23% | $59.99 |
Blem USGI Flyer Helmet Bag |
0.21% | $29.99 |
Blem MARPAT Wet Weather Poncho Liner |
0.21% | $39.99 |
Blem USGI ACU Poncho Liner |
0.20% | $39.99 |
Italian Forze Armate Shorts |
0.18% | $19.99 |
USAF ABU Double STANAG Mag Pouch, Buckle |
0.18% | $19.99 |
Blem Italian FR Blanket |
0.18% | $15.99 |
USGI Disposable White Coverall (XL) |
0.18% | $11.99 |
Blem USGI Roll-Up Sleeping Mat |
0.18% | $19.99 |
Unissued USGI Army Dress Coat |
0.16% | $39.99 |
USGI ACU Double STANAG Mag Pouch, Buckle |
0.16% | $19.99 |
Two-Pack Blem Tropen Tees |
0.16% | $15.98 |
USGI Flyers Gloves |
0.16% | $24.99 |
Blem USGI Foliage Green Sleep System Compression Sack |
0.16% | $24.99 |
German Customs Maritime Jacket |
0.14% | $64.99 |
Blem USGI Cold Weather Parka Liner |
0.14% | $29.99 |
USGI ALICE LC-1 Belt |
0.14% | $15.99 |
Blem Lightweight Flecktarn Combat Gloves |
0.14% | $21.99 |
Blem Flecktarn Field Shirt |
0.14% | $19.99 |
Two-Pack USGI ACU Hand Grenade Pouch |
0.11% | $12.98 |
USAF ABU Horizontal GP Pouch |
0.11% | $24.99 |
USGI ACU SO Tech IFAK Pouch (Drop Leg) |
0.11% | $24.99 |
USGI ACU 6 Mag Bandoleer |
0.11% | $15.99 |
Blem Bundeswehr Wet Weather Poncho |
0.11% | $29.99 |
Blem USGI ECW Fleece Jacket |
0.09% | $39.99 |
Battle-Damaged CVC Cold Weather Nomex Tanker Jacket |
0.09% | $124.99 |
Blem USGI Enhanced Duffle Bag | 0.07% | $39.99 |
Czech M85 Satchel | 0.07% | $15.99 |
Blem USGI Olive Drab Deployment Bag | 0.07% | $125.58 |
USGI Old Gen ECW Mummy Sleeping Bag (-20F) | 0.05% | $139.99 |
Blem USGI Intermediate Sleeping Bag, Alpha Grey | 0.05% | $119.99 |
Battle-Damaged USMC Tan Assault Pack | 0.04% | $59.99 |
USGI ALICE OD Radio Pouch | 0.04% | $17.99 |
Battle-Damaged CVC Cold Weather Nomex Overalls | 0.04% | $49.99 |
Blem PCU ECW Level 7 Trousers | 0.04% | $69.99 |
Belgian Rain Jacket | 0.04% | $29.99 |
USGI Snow Camoflauge Parka | 0.04% | $49.99 |
GORE-TEX Polizei Quilted Duty Parka | 0.04% | $69.99 |
Blem ANZUG 03 Mountain Jacket | 0.02% | $49.99 |
Battle-Damaged SADF Pattern 83 Battle Jacket | 0.02% | $199.99 |
Blem USGI Patrol Sleeping Bag, Alpha Grey | 0.02% | $89.99 |
US Coast Guard 1000D Cordura Backpack | 0.02% | $59.99 |
USGI Utility Coveralls | 0.02% | $49.99 |
USGI Flyers Vest | 0.02% | $29.99 |
USGI Snow Camoflauge Pants | 0.02% | $29.99 |